I can’t even begin to count the number of times in a day that I used to feel sadness & disgust with myself. Any little thing would trigger it; getting up off the couch, buckling a shoe, driving in the car, heck, just standing in my closet every morning deciding what to wear. How many reminders of misery & self loathing must one go through when just average, typical everyday activities smack you square in the face and shout “Hey fatty! Lose some weight, would ya?” It’s like you are at war with yourself, and both teams are losing the battle.
You know, over the last 38 days, I honestly cannot count 1 time where I felt disgusted with myself, which is freaking AMAZING! For the first time in 16 years, I feel a sense of self satisfaction. Some might say, “It’s only 17 pounds, it’s not like you’ve lost 50!” The transformation of my mind has been far more incredible than that of my physical body, and in my opinion, that is where I needed to see the change most. I feel completely at ease with myself & my appearance; I am relaxed.
Make no mistake, I know that I still have a very long road ahead of me, and there will be challenges along the way (ahem…Easter candy), but I am confident that I can face each challenge, head on and go into battle with a smile, knowing I will win this one. I will have victory over these demons that haunt me! Hey, even if my demons come with candy flowered bunny ears or are speckled pastel colored eggs- they are demons nonetheless! I will just whip out my dark chocolate IsaDelight packed full of amino acids for mood elevation and tell that bunny right where he can hop off to!
I have lost 17 pounds and 26 inches in just 38 days, and I am thoroughly pleased about my accomplishments! I cannot wait for the day when I can write that I have reached my goal weight; a healthy weight. Power to the people! (Had to say it!)
